The Most Precious in the Place I Tore Out to Discard
For the first time in a very long while, I borrowed and read a novel from the library.
It had been so long that I thought a short story collection would be better than a long novel, so this is the book I chose.
I had vowed to frequent the library when I was in graduate school,
but in the end, I only sought out the library after my school program was over.
It seems that everything becomes more earnest when it’s about to end.
For the first time in a very long while, I read something I had written a long time ago.
Ah, I really had a lot of affection for writing.
I poured my heart into it willingly, even if no one recognized it.
The me back then and the me now have changed a little,
but still, like the title of the novel, I think I’ll end up writing again.
What I Will Write Choi Jin-young, 2024, Anon Books ](https://search.shopping.naver.com/book/product/efPLCwe5nc6c6PGkzQsfs%2FQq%2FiE2SqN3mQqK0nmv3wQ%3D)
pg.66
I had completely forgotten, but my sister’s question brought back Moo-young’s words, the expression on her face when she said them, the sound of the rain that day, and her beautifully envious tone.
I’ve never thought about that. Not once.
I said it in an annoyed tone. I felt wronged that my sister asked that. I don’t know why I felt wronged. Was it because my sister recognized the desire I was trying my best to hide too easily? When Moo-young said she wanted to be a writer, I envied her for being able to voice her dream like that, because Moo-young seemed like she would truly become a writer, but I felt conflicted because I felt I could never be such a person.
pg.224
Happiness, for me, is a bother.
Bothersome?
I nodded at my husband’s question. Happiness was popular and always drew many fans. Enthusiastic fans — anxiety, worry, fear, pity, regret, resentment, doubt, guilt, etc. — wouldn’t leave happiness alone and clung to it. I placed my hand on my belly, wondering if there had ever been a moment when I felt completely happy. There was no real sense that a life was being created. But the doctor said congratulations. The moment I heard that, fear washed over me. Therefore, is this happiness?
pg.340
In
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